I think that most people going through college must be going through some form of metamorphosis. Especially those of us whom jump into college straight from high school. We are thrust into a completely new world upon which you have a total of three to four years to make a product out of yourself that will be desirable in a hiring market.
Talk about scary.

It is even more scary when you realize that there is only about a year left and you still have no idea where the hell you're going. Sure there have been some improvements, but there is still this ultimate decision.

I need to figure out what my specialty is, and I keep telling myself that I have no idea what it is. But in fact, I think that somewhere deep down I know.

I was reading Kabuki; the Alchemy the other day (I believe issue 4?) and there was this remarkable section in which the artist was talking about finding yourself and evolving; figuring out your place in the world. Thinking about what you liked to do between the ages of 9 and 11 because that is the time when you start to get a mind of your own, and do things that you enjoy; but also the time in which you haven't quite been brainwashed by what you "should" do.

When I was that age I just liked to draw (and pretend that I was some kind of leopard jumping around in the back yard). Drawing drawing drawing for hours on end. There was some kind of immense pleasure in finishing a picture a showing it to the people I cared about.
Now that I'm older, I'm being introduced to all of these new worlds like 3d modelling and Animation. We can build whole new worlds just as we sit at the computer. It is truly fun. But I still find myself wishing to have time to just sit at a desk and draw. It seems like a waste to go to a school that focuses on the 3d arts, just to graduate and persue a job in 2d. But I think that's what I want to do most.



But how can I know for sure?



If only there could be some amazing eventful day in my life in which I am held at gunpoint or stop someone from commiting suicide; just so I could have all of the answers right in front of me.